Obituary outline and How to write an obituary

If you are the type of person that skipped the instructions in school and dove into your assignments feet first you can scroll right on down to the obituary template i have written up for your convenience. ..............

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If you would like a little info before you dive right in feel free to read my little post.

One of the most common questions that I get asked as a funeral director is, "How do i write an obituary?". The answer is simple......how ever you want to. The easiest way to write an obituary is obviously to follow the crowd and use a simple outline that is commonly used and accepted by the public. Other options you have are to write a poetic eulogy to your loved one talking how wonderful they were and what you'll miss most about them. Another option is to write your own obituary before hand and write it from your perspective to those who will miss you. However you choose to write an obituary it is completely perfect.

If you decided you want to write an obituary in the simplest fashion following the commonly used and accepted outline, your first step would be to read a few obituaries either online or in the local news paper.
You can even find interesting obituaries of famous people on findagrave.com. Next, follow the outline and decide what are the most important facts about your loved one are that you would like to shout from the rooftops and let the world know about. While doing this remember that your loved one is special and deserves to be recognized for their achievement, many times friends that your loved one makes later on in life never learned of half of the amazing things that they did until they read it in the obituary. Following this step you'll need to make a list of all your family members that deserve to be named in the obituary and those that can be assigned a number (normally children, with spouses of children in parentheses, and the spouse of the deceased are named and siblings, grandchildren and great-grandchildren are numbered.) You will now need to add the funeral/memorial information including date, time and place of all the events such as viewing, service, and graveside/interment. Last of all trim down what you don't want to pay for in the copy that will be sent to the paper because some news papers charge per line and some papers charge per word so you will end up paying for the classified add space either way. Keep in mind that many times funeral homes will post longer versions of obituaries on their websites free of charge if you decided you want to put a shorter version in the paper.

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Now that the writing process is complete you have a choice to make, should you add a picture of not. If you decided to add a picture of your loved one remember that there is always a better picture than the one on their drivers license (I have submitted a few obituaries with the photo from the drivers license and remember that if you don't like your license picture your loved one most likely didn't like theirs).  Choose a picture that people will recognize, one that makes you say, "That is so (insert loved one's name here)", and one that your loved one would choose (don't make them haunt you for the rest of your days by putting "that" picture in the paper or online).

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However you choose to write your obituary you will do great. Below I have written a small outline that you can print out and use as a guide when writing an obituary. If you get stuck in the writing process always feel free to ask your local funeral director for help.

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Funeral Services Listed at the bottom are normally added by the funeral home that you choose but you may include them in your obituary prior to submitting it.They are listed in this order.

Thanks for reading my little post. I hope it was helpful to you in your task of writing an obituary.

10 Reasons you should Marry a Funeral Director

10 Reasons you should Marry a Funeral Director

1. They are very Romantic:

   As a funeral director you are constantly talking to couples who were married for 50 or 60 years therefore funeral directors have that goal in mind each day and want to keep life romantic.

2. Funeral Directors can deal with most any smell so diapers are a breeze.

http://www.thirstiesbaby.com/blog/so-you-think-youre-too-squeamish-for-cloth-diapers/

Funeral Directors encounter odd to terrible smells each and every day. It's all part of the job when you work with deceased people.

3. You will often get fresh flowers "Just Because" or because they were left over from a service and the family didn't want the.

Often times when family members come from out of town they can't or don't want to transport all the flowers home so funeral directors are often gifted arrangements to take home to their spouses.

4. Funeral directors have great senses of Humor.

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When working in a job full of Mourning and sadness almost all funeral directors have a great sense of humor which helps them cope with the need to be serious and composed while working with mourning families.

5. Funerals almost always have fun hobbies.

I collect hearses, skulls and Dia de los Muertos paraphernalia. I also know many funeral directors that collect pieces of art, books, coins or all sorts of things.

6. Funeral Directors are calm during hectic circumstances.

Grief often brings the worst out of people so funeral directors often train themselves to remain composed and calm during most every situation.

7. Funeral Directors are often quite artistic.

Part of the Funerary schooling includes restorative arts and other art classes. This means funeral directors are trained to sculpt faces and other body parts by using measurements and a photo. Some funeral directors are better at this than others. I know some directors that are very talented artists, photographers, painters and sketch artists too.

8. Funeral Directors learn to love a wide variety of Music.

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As a funeral director you learn to love music from many genres, time periods and styles because you are working from people from every walk of life and playing music for their services. This means you can choose the music and they will probably be ok with your choice.

9. Funeral Directors train themselves to wake up to certain ringtones or sounds.

Because Funeral Directors are on-call at night they train themselves take up to certain ringtones or sounds in case there is a death during the night. This means if you need them to wake up during the night for any reason all you have to do is call or text them.

10. Last but not least Funeral Directors are empathetic.

When you work with mourning families day in and day out you need to have some empathy. this means funeral directors have a soft spot and will often be more empathetic than other men, and will take care of you when you need help or aren't feeling well.

"You can't Take it with you" Or Can you?

Have you ever owned anything that you loved so much that you'd want to be buried with it? Many times when I've talked to a friend or family member about funerals they have joked about being buried in a prized possession, like a Piano or in a casket with a T.V. but I never thought anything of it until I saw an news article about a woman who was buried in her car. After doing some research I came to find out that there have been multiple people who have been buried either in or with their large prized possessions.

Here is a list of some people who weren't joking when they said that they loved their cars, motorcycles or other possessions so much that they were buried with them.

1. Sandra West loved her blue Ferrari sports car so much that when she wrote her will she stated that in order for her brother-in-law to receive his hefty inheritance of an estimated $5 million she was to be buried in it. So in 1977, when she died, he followed her wishes. Not only was she buried in her 1964 Ferrari but she was placed in the car in her white nightgown with the seat comfortably tilted back.
As you can imagine the grave for a Ferrari would be a little bigger than a normal casket grave. According to a newspaper article the grave was 19 feet long, 10 feet wide and 9 feet deep.

You can read the origional Article Here.
You can also read more info on her burial on Find A Grave.

2. Lonnie Hollaway was a one of a kind man who wanted to have a one of a kind burial in his town. So when he died in 2009 he was buried in his green 1973 Ponatiac Catalina. The burial took place in his long time home town of Saluda, S.C.
The newspaper article from his home town can be found here.
More info on this burial available on Find a Grave,

3. George Swanson was determined to be buried in his 1984 Corvette so prior to his death he bought 12 burial plots to make sure his prized car would fit. Following his death in 1994 he was cremated and after some negotiating with the cemetery his urn was placed in the front seat of his beloved car which was lowered into the 16 foot hole.
You can read more in this article.
You can also read more on Find A Grave.
One more article.

4.Aurora Schuck loved her red 1976 Cadillac convertible so much that when she died in 1989 she was buried in the back of it. According to newspaper articles it took 14 burial plots and the hole measure 27 feet long, 12 feet wide and 6 feet deep.
read more here and here
Feel free to learn more on Find A Grave.

5. Rose Martin was a well known woman in Tiverton, RI who requested to be buried in her Chevrolet Corvair. When she died in 1998 her wish was granted and her casket was placed inside the car and then the car, with the casket in side was buried in Providence Road Island. The Burial took 4 burial plots.
Read more here and here.
Find more on Find A Grave.

6. Harry Flamburis, or as his Hell's Angels biker buddies like to call him, "Harry the Horse", was murdered and buried in Cypress Lawn Cemetery in San Fransisco, CA. Originally his burial was somewhat normal, excluding the fact that hundreds of bikers from across the United States had come to pay their respects. A month or so later the members of his gang felt that Harry's bike was a "special bike" so they had it buried on top of his casket with him.
More on his original burial Here.
More on burial with his bike Here.
Read on Find A Grave. 

7. Billie Leo Standley was a man who loved to travel and he loved his motorcycle. So, you guessed it, in Febuary of 2014 he was buried mounted on his 1967 Harley Davidson motorcycle in a Plexiglas casket that he and his sons had specially made for the occasion. It took 3 burial spaces and a crane to lower his homemade casket into the ground but his wish of was fulfilled.
Read more here.
You can also watch a video here.
Find out more on Find A Grave.

Last but not least..........

8. Ruben John Smith was a man who loved his comfort and loved his checkers so in 1988 his dying wish was fulfilled he was buried in a sarcophagus sitting upright in his recliner chair with a checkers board on his lap. Not only as he buried in his chair but he was buried with  his hat on a with a warm coat (in-case it got chilly in the sarcophagus) with a key to the door in his coat pocket.
Read more on Find a Grave.
More info available Here.

12 "non-traditional" funeral songs

When most people think of "funeral music" they think of something soothing, relaxing or inspirational like Christian Hymns. In today's world, that is slowly changing. As more and more younger people are dying from cancer and other diseases and more funerals are taking place at a funeral parlor instead of a church, more non-traditional songs are being played at funerals.
Here is a list of 12 of these "non-traditional" funeral songs:

1. Spirit in the sky by Norman Greenbaum

2. Fireflies by owl City

3. See you Again by Carrie Underwood

4. Fix You by Coldplay

5. Broken by Lifehouse

6. Cry by James Blunt

7. Heaven by Los Lonley Boys

8. One Life to Love by 33 Miles

9. I'll Follow you Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie

10. My Immortal by Evanescence

11. If I Die young by The Band Perry

12. If Today Was Your Last Day by Nickelback

If you think of other songs I could add to the list feel free to make a comment below.

Funeral Related Apps

In today's world people want to be able to have information at their fingertips anytime and anywhere. This has become even more apparent through the development of smartphones and different apps that are available to users these phones.

 In this post I will include a short list of apps that I have downloaded to my Iphone that are useful to those who are making funeral arrangements for a loved one- who has died, or for those that would like to pre-plan their funerals to make things easier for their families.

1.iFuneral -created by Appware Limited.
This App is designed for you to enter all sorts of information about the type of service you'd like when you pass away. Once you've entered all the information desired,  you can send the info to your next-of-kin to safeguard it until they need to use it. Information you'll input includes: church denomination, a specific funeral home and director you'd like to take care of arrangements with their contact information, whether you prefer burial or cremation as well as place of burial, music you'd like to be played at the service, type of procession, casket type, clothing you'd like to wear, clothing for those attending (for example if you want all to wear black in mourning or if you want them to wear blue because it was your favorite color. etc.), if you have a life insurance plan, pre-need arrangements or a will, and you may also include any special wishes. This app was made in the UK, therefore caskets listed may not be available to US residents.



2. Funeral info. -created by Your Tribute Holdings LTD.
This is a wonderful app dedicated to answering all of your questions regarding funeral services from "How to write an obituary" to "inappropriate & funny funeral songs" etc. It works similarly to ask.com and other like websites. Select the Article category you have questions about then you're given a list of articles regarding that category.



3. FindAGrave -created by Ancestry.com.
This app works by searching by memorial (or person) or searching for a cemetery. Once you have selected one and entered the needed information: first and last name of the deceased, date of birth, date of death, country, state and city of burial, hit search. You are then given a list of people to scroll through who fit the criteria entered. I searched for my great grandmother and was able to find her grave easily with a picture of her grave stone and a short bio all about her. This app also provides you the plot number and the cemetery's name, address, and phone number if available.


4. ObitFinder -created by Legacy.com.
This app is similar to the Find A Grave App, except for it's meant to specifically find obituaries. This App may be helpful if you are writing an obituary for a loved one and can't remember great great grandma's name or other information. It also provides a great list of obituaries you can use as references or outlines for writing your own obituary or a loved one's. The way it works- you enter the first and last name of the person who's obit you are looking for as well as selecting a date range and keywords such as: place of death, birth, grandpa's name, things that will help the site find the needle in the haystack of millions of obituaries. When I searched for a family member's obit I found not only one obituary but 2 that were submitted to different papers.

The last Iphone or Smartphone app I'm sharing with you is more of a help for friends or distant relatives who are attending a funeral service and aren't quite sure what to say.

5. JustToSay -created by Indy.inc.
This app was specifically built to help those who have a hard time expressing with words exactly what they want to say from their hearts. It provides many different phrases and conversation starters to use at different occasions. The sympathy section of this app provides excellent suggestions such as, "I know there is nothing I can say or do to make this okay. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you in your time of sorrow." I know it may be a little Hallmark but if said with heart and feeling the families truly appreciate your kind words.



To finish up I would like to introduce a couple of apps that are available for social media such as Twitter and Facebook.

One app available for Twitter users is LivesOn. This app was created to post random twitter posts to your twitter account after you have passed away. The app analyzes your current twitter posts and from there it creates the new posts. Kind of a creepy thought but kind of cool. Some users may find comfort from your computerized "tweets from heaven" while others may just find it spooky and odd.

A popular Facebook app available is the IfIDie app. (I do not condone the hand gestures found in the video on this website). What IfIDie does is provides you with the ability to share a personalized video message to select friends and family if you happen to die. It also allows you to write specific messages that you would like delivered by message to your Facebook after your death. Kind of a cool way to share a video will or a video message for a memorial service for close friends and family.

Tribute to Jamal

Today my Beta Fish died this is a tribute to him... or it. 

Jamal Paul Clifford, the beta fish, passed away peacefully in his sleep on Saturday June 22, 2013.

Jamal was born on an unknown date to two loving and excited beta parents but had to be given up for adoption because his parents could no longer care for him and because their bowl ran out of room to shelter him and his constant bowel movements. After leaving his parents he spent a portion of his life at Craft warehouse where he socialized with all the other betas around him while watching fanatic crafters buy many things they don't need. Including Beta fishes.

On May 30, 2013 he was adopted into the Clifford family where he joined his Father Brevin, his Mother McCall and his older brother Koda in their cozy apartment.(He never actually met Koda in fear for Koda liking sea food)

He spent his life with the Clifford's in a large glass mug from the dollar store where he was always surrounded by fake flowers and yellow beads. He loved to swim, eat, sleep and watch this strange family do crafts and eat from a top the bookshelf in the dining room. 

He is survived by the brown flakes of Tetrafin fish food, his father-because he fed him, and the light that shined on so many of his mothers crafts. 

His favorite saying was “Just keep swimming...in circles”.

(because he had limited room to move)

Though we only knew him for a short while, his rotten dead fish scent will linger in our kitchen for days to come...

he will be missed and forever in our hearts.

We know he is now swimming with all his loved ones in the sewer *cough* fish paradise.

A small toilet side service was held on June 23, 2013 at 4:00pm. 

Burial at toilet flush followed. (We hope he wasn't just sleeping)

In lieu of Flowers and money, donations can be made to your favorite charity or the Get a new Beta fish for Brevin and McCall Foundation.

The Don'ts of Attending a Funeral

1. Don’t be the guy who shows up at the funeral not knowing anyone in the family but expecting to get fed at the brunch following.

2. Don’t show up at funerals and blatantly shove the grieving families beliefs aside to only replace them with your own personal beliefs. (Not everybody wants to be told that the body of the person they have loved and cherished for many many years is “just a Shell” though it may be a body with the spirit being absent it is still what they recognize as their loved one and they have the right to say goodbye to them face to face.)

3. Don’t show up at a funeral and as a non-paster, family member, or funeral worker take over the show and demand that everybody conform to your wants.

4. Don’t be the tacky person who shows up in a mini skirt or a heavy metal rock t-shirt when everybody else is dressed classily. (especially if you are a grandchild or a child of the deceased)

5. Don’t show up at a formal church funeral smelling of smoke or alcohol or a mixture of the two. I know we all grieve the same but a shower, a splash of mouth wash and mint go a long way.

6. Don’t be the person who gets up during a time of sharing and shares inappropriate remarks regarding the deceased.

7. Don’t swear or use crude language during any part of a funeral service. Show some respect to the dead and others who come to the funeral.

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8. Don’t bring dead animals and place them in the casket. (this isn’t ancient Egypt you don’t need to bring a dead cat in a bag to be buried in the casket with their owner)

9. Don’t show up at a funeral 15 minutes late. Especially if you are a family member of the decease. I know it’s a hard time and there is a lot on your mind. Just remember that in most cases clergy and funeral directors will hold up services till all expected family is present. Don’t be the one to make the funeral start late.

10. Unless you are a family member of the deceased or have permission from the family to do so Don’t take pictures of the dead and place them on facebook, twitter, instagram, myspace, google plus or any other social media cite.

11. Don’t be the one who’s phone goes off in the middle of the service with the ringer at full blast. Remember a funeral is quite similar to a church service.