Ashes to Ashes

 ASHES TO ASHES

As the 1662 version of the Book of Common Prayer  States

"Forasmuch as it hath pleased Almighty God of his great mercy to take unto himself the soul of our dear brother here departed, we therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ASHES TO ASHES, dust to dust;"                                (http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/ashes-to-ashes.html)

 Today many people seem to be leaning towards cremation as an alternative to earth burial and think of it as just having the body "burned", putting the ashes in an urn and then being done with the process.

In my experience as a Funeral Director this is rarely the case. For many families Cremation can be an alternative to burial but it is never a form of final disposition. The ashes must therefore find a final resting place. They can either be taken home by the family members, be taken to a special place to the deceased and scattered, they may be shot off into space, they may be put into a shot gun shell and be shot somewhere, they may be buried in a cemetery, placed in a mausoleum or many other things according to the deceased's request.

(http://www.prlog.org/10175787-funeral-urns-for-loving-deceased.html)

From personal experiences with cremation and the placement of the ashes, I have a few stories I'd like to share.

One day while working at a small funeral home I met with a family who had expressed their wishes to have a loved one cremated. So I discussed with them the normal procedure of how cremation normally works and the process associated with it. When I had finished explaining to them about the cremation process the son of the deceased told me he had a strange request. The request was that he wanted to come in early in the morning one day, follow the hearse to the crematory, help carry the body in the casket to the cremation retort, push it in and then push the button which starts the cremation process. I told him such a request was rare at our funeral home but that his wish could be granted. He then told me that he had another request. The next request was that he personally wanted to place the ashes into the urn and then place the urn into the Grave. So I talked to the crematory and the cemetery that would be involved with the services and they said that that would be perfectly fine.We then set up a date and time for each of the request of the family to be granted.

When the day of the cremation came, I went up the the funeral home early and loaded the casket containing the deceased into the back of the hearse and then drove down to the crematory with the family of the deceased following in their car. Once we made it to the crematory we opened the back door of the hearse and son of the deceased, the cremation operator and I carried the casket from the hearse to a cart  which was used by the crematory operator. Once the casket was on the cart I as asked to open the casket for the last time so that the family could be sure that it was their loved one in the casket. The Son then helped us push the casket into the crematory retort and we then allowed him to push the button. As the flames of the retort engulfed the casket the family was satisfied and they headed home.

A couple days late the family returned to the funeral home and the rest of their requests were granted.

(http://www.allfaithsfuneral.com/urns.php)

Another few personal experiences which I've had with regards to cremation would included:

-Often times family members ask that we place letters addressed to the deceased person into the urn before we either seal the urn or bury it.

-I've had multiple families ask that I place candies or snacks into the urns with the deceased's ashes.

-Once both husband and wife have died I've been asked to mix the ashes together because, "since they were made one in life they too are made one in death."

-I've had families bring in their own urns including but not limited to cookie jars, a wine can, a rope box, Jewelry boxes, urns previously used by others, urns bought at yard sales, and a shoe box.

As for cremation there are many different types of urns and merchandise that funeral homes offer such as Thumb print jewelry with the print of the deceased on it, little lockets, charms and rings that can be filled with ashes, keepsake urns, decorative urns, Urn sets, and some companies even create diamonds out of cremated remains....All for a price of course.

Overall in my opinion cremation is an alternative for disposing of your dead but the disposition process never ends at the crematory and may end according to the deceased's wishes.